Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
The word that stopped me alive in my tracks was the word ‘fit’ so I decided to look it up. Guess what? It means fit (like suitable)! Nothing earth shattering! As I looked at the immediate context, I could see that ‘in the Lord’ goes along with it. Duh! Again that is easy to see.
What is ‘fit in the Lord? The Word of God contains all wisdom that pertains to life, so whatever is fitting about the husband and wife relationship has got to be in there. The larger, whole context for the word needs to be taken into account, not an isolated verse here and there. Any person can make the word say what he wants it to say by taking things out of the setting of the whole Bible.
So how about the very first husband/wife relationship? In the beginning God set everything up and then turned around and said that it was all very good.
Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
Eve was give a brain and had thinking capabilities, along with (uh-oh) free-will choice. If God made her that way in the beginning, he must of had a reason!
Galatians 3:28 is breathtaking:
There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28
There are many examples of outstanding women in the Bible like Debra, Sarah, Hannah, Ruth, Esther, Mary, Pricilla, Phebe, Junia, Lydia, Mary Magdalene and numerous other women.
Mary is a great example of submitting as it is ‘fit’ in the Lord. When the angel told Mary about the child she was to bear, did she run to Joseph and say: “Honey I need to run something by you.”? Why didn’t God go first to Joseph and tell him what he needed and then tell Joseph to discuss this with Mary? God worked with each of them individually. She submitted to Joseph as it was ‘fit’ in the Lord. Joseph also responded as it was ‘fit’ in the Lord. Joseph helped Mary do what God had called her to do.
Every marriage has a unique footprint, that is what becoming one flesh is all about. It involves commitment, work and believing in the ‘Christ in’ each other. Each individual person has a unique way to minister to others and each marriage is a melding of two separate callings into a mutual arrangement.
The spirit of God works through the wife and works through the husband:
Ecclesiastes 4:9-13 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? 12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
To submit one to another is to have a relationship arrangement. Women are different from men and have different capabilities. Adam and Eve were designed to complement and help one another. Marriage is a decision to have a permanent relationship. Every marriage is different, because two different individuals are brought together to figure out how to operate as a unit. It is fascinating!
The act of submission defined in the Bible can effect any relationship, not just a married couple.
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear (reverence) of God. Epehsians 5:21
Individuals are different and have different attributes, characteristics, skills, culture, upbringing and chemistry. Submission doesn’t mean ‘you are the boss of me’. Leadership is such a big word today, but biblically is is synonymous with servanthood. God’s word is the standard and guidepost. ‘Doormat’ theology is not the point, it is about the art and love of serving with recognition of the individuality of a person’s heart. Bottom line, ‘submission’ is dealing with each other where the focus is not ‘all about me’. It is true in marriage, it is true in any relationship. Jesus Christ is the best example and the reason for every season, not just the holidays.